Hey, Hypothetical Reader! Wanna talk about Dumbledore's sex life?
Excuse me? You know, Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, formerly a professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts and later Transfiguration at same, known for his defeat of the dark wizard Grindelwald in 1945, Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards, &c. I know which Dumbledore you are referring to. Okay, it's just that recent films have indicated that maybe there are more Dumbledores than was previously believed. Thanks for reminding me that JK Rowling's most recent writing credit is for that execrable movie. Speaking of, it turns out that JK Rowling recently confirmed that Dumbledore and Grindelwald were lovers. I mean, didn't she already basically confirm that when she revealed that Dumbledore was gay? Well, not exactly, she said that Dumbledore was in love with Grindelwald. Not that the relationship was reciprocal. But now she...