A Year of Unfortunate Events — Part the Ninth: The Legend of the 7 Golden Beatrices

Lions and orphans and freaks, oh my!

Happy 13th of the month, readers (both hypothetical and otherwise)! You know what that means: it's
time for me to revisit another entry in Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events!

Sticking with that intro?

Yes.

All right.

SPOILERS ahoy!

So, after an outing that you declared the series' best, I guess this has a pretty high bar to clear.

I guess so. This is only the second book in which the protagonists find themselves on the run.

Was that really necessary?

Not really, but I like that song. Anyway, the halfway point seems to have been a pretty good place to change up the formula, so let's see if Lemony Snicket can keep up that momentum in . . .

Book the Ninth: The Carnivorous Carnival

So, what do you remember about this one going in?

Can I plead the fifth?

Given that this isn't a courtroom or congressional hearing and you're not under oath . . . no?

All right. So, the Baudelaires have stowed away in Count Olaf's trunk. Um. . . so they end up in a carnival. I do know that they disguise themselves a freak show acts to hide. I also think that the other acts aren't freaks. Like they're normal people. Or maybe they're Olaf's associates. Olaf's the ringmaster or something. The point is, that I don't remember a lot.

Well, now that you've had a chance to re-read it, how'd you do?

Okay-ish? We'll call it a wash. Anyway, this book starts where The Hostile Hospital left off, with the Baudelaires (Violet, 14, Klaus, 13, and Sunny, 1) hiding in Count Olaf's trunk as he drives off into the hinterlands. "Where are they driving to?" you might ask.

You will note that I have not asked.

To Caligari Carnival, where Olaf et al. are greeted by Madam Lulu, the carnival's proprietress and fortune-teller, who happens to have the exact same accent that Olaf faked when he was in disguise as Gunther back in The Ersatz Elevator, please. The Baudelaires eavesdrop on them and find out that Lulu's the one who's been telling Olaf where to find them for the past eight books. Armed with this knowledge, they come up with a loose plan. They'll disguise themselves as freaks to get jobs at the carnival so that they can find out how Lulu is getting this information and if she can tell them anything about whether one of their parents actually did survive the fire.

How are they going to disguise themselves in the middle of the hinterlands?

Olaf's trunk is where he keeps all of his disguises.

Oh.

Sunny uses the beard that Olaf wore as Stephano in The Reptile Room to disguise her self as Chabo the wolf-baby (the daughter of a female game hunter and a handsome wolf), while Violet and Klaus use the powder-faced women's face powder to color their hair white and squeeze into Olaf's adult-sized clothes together to pose as Beverly and her second head, Elliot.

Those disguises seem pretty transparent.

You'd think so, but remember, Olaf and his crew are all quite self-involved, and they don't even notice. Meanwhile, Lulu is suspicious of how well they'll draw in the crowd until the Baudelaires demonstrate how hard it is for them to eat corn on the cob while being two teenagers pretending to be one two-headed person. Their sloppy eating will surely bring in the rubes.

Wait! Violet and Klaus disguise themselves as conjoined fraternal twins who share their entire body below the neck, and it takes a corn-eating demonstration to prove their potential as circus freaks?

Yeah. Anyway, Lulu leads them to the caravan where the freaks live and introduces them to their new co-workers: Hugo, the hunchback, Colette, the contortionist, and Kevin, the ambidextrous person. She also informs them that they will not be paid, and that as freaks they should feel lucky to find any employment.

Slavery isn't employment.

No, it is not. But again, they know that Lulu is feeding Olaf information about them, so maybe they can find out if one of their parents is alive. Getting back to the story, turns out that the freaks, like most non-villainous adults in these books, are a bunch of sad sacks who are down on themselves because of their "deformities." Though, it should be noted that the book takes a dim view of treating people poorly because of physical differences. In any case, the next day, the Baudelaires overhear Olaf talking about the fortune he received from Madam Lulu. She said that one of the Baudelaire parents is alive.  So, after their first Freak Show, Count Olaf pulls up to the carnival dragging a trailer filled with lions.

That doesn't sound like good news.

It is not. See, he orders his accomplices to dig a pit for the lions and says that after the next day's Freak Show, one of the freaks will be fed to the lions. There's no time to waste, so the Baudelaires sneak into her fortune-telling tent and discover, that Madam Lulu is a fraud!

Quelle surprise! So what's her angle?

She has a disco ball in her tent that mimics lighting when struck by the light of dawn. In any case, once her clients are dazzled by the light show, she asks them to close their eyes while she "consults her crystal ball."

And those sarcastic quotes mean . . .

That she really consults the archival library she's collected under her table to see if she has the information that people need.

Archival library?

Well, more like an undifferentiated pile of documents. In any case, Madam Lulu walks in just when they accidentally break her crystal ball. The Baudelaires reveal that they're the Baudelaires and Lulu reveals that she's actually a woman named Olivia who just gives people what they want, regardless of its effects.

So she's a happiness pump?

She's a happiness pump. And she's vaguely associated with VFD, and promises to take the Baudelaires to the VFD headquarters in the Mortmain Mountains. Oh, and also not to betray them to Olaf.

Does she tell them what VFD stands for?

She does not. So, with a possible ally, the Baudelaires return to the freaks' caravan where Esmé Squalor turns up in a dress that literally says "I Love Freaks" on it.

Must be in.

Must be. She has a proposition for the freaks. They can join Olaf's troupe if, after the Freak Show, they throw Madam Lulu into the lion pit. The other freaks jump at the chance for acceptance, in the form of clothing that makes them look like "normal" people, but the Baudelaires maintain that it would be a wicked thing to do. Esmé leaves them to sleep on it. The next morning, while Olaf is in the fortune-telling tent, the Baudelaires start work on Violet's new invention, a modified roller coaster car that can drive them into the mountains with Olivia. All they'll need is the fan-belt from Olivia's disco ball. The bad news is that Olaf emerges from the tent early and Olivia herds the children to the pit. Olaf's moved up the schedule. He draws a name from a hat, and it turns out that the unlucky freak will be Beverly and Elliot. The Baudelaires try to use a combination of stalling tactics and mob psychology to forestall their fate, which ultimately leads to the untimely deaths of Lulu and the long-nosed bald man when an angry mob knocks them into the pit.

Yikes. So, with the person of indeterminate gender and the long-nosed bald man out of the picture, Olaf will probably need more accomplices tout suite, good thing he sent Esmé to recruit the freaks.

That's a weird thing to be happy about. But turns out that he didn't, Esmé was just jealous of the attention that Lulu was getting from Olaf. However, you're right, it is good for Olaf that she did that because he's more than happy to recruit the freaks, including Beverly, Elliot, and Chabo. But there's not room in the car and somebody set the carnival on fire.

Was it Olaf?

It was Olaf. Don't worry, he told someone from The Daily Punctilio that it was the Baudelaires, and he isn't entirely wrong, since they did set Olivia's tent on fire when he asked them to. See, now he's pretty much their only way to the VFD headquarters, which might be in the Valley of the Four Drafts.

Because of the initials?

Also because of a possible secret marking on a map in Olivia's archival library. Anyway, Violet and Klaus have to ride in the freaks' caravan which will be towed behind Olaf's car, where Sunny is being held in Esmé's lap. After they're under way, Olaf calls them on a walkie talkie to deliver the shocking news: that A) Olivia betrayed them, and 2) the other freaks have formed a human chain to hang out of the car window and cut the tow rope holding the caravan to the car.  And that's where this book ends, with Sunny held captive by Count Olaf, et al., and Violet and Klaus rolling backwards down a treacherous mountain road.

So, it sounds like things are getting pretty bleak.

Yeah, there are a few glimmers of hope, but things are looking pretty grim for Beverly, Elliot, and Chabo, the wolf-baby. Speaking of, this novel does see another sea-change in the series. From here on out, it's the Baudelaires disguising themselves rather than Count Olaf. Which you may have noticed is accompanied by a higher degree of moral ambiguity in the Baudelaire's actions in this very book.

I'm not so sure it's that ambiguous, after all, they do set the Fortune-Telling Tent on fire.

But the carnival was already on fire at that point. And they couldn't risk Olaf figuring out their disguise. But the Baudelaires have increasingly resorted to actions like subterfuge and theft that would not have occurred to them earlier in the series. They're so squeaky clean in the first couple of entries that they actually confront Olaf and explain how they figured out his plot and are going to expose him. They're no longer that naïve.

You're making it sounds like morality and naïveté are related.

Hmm, I wouldn't say that the series goes that far. A more charitable interpretation would be that the real world is complicated and it isn't always clear what the right course of action is. The story simply uses somewhat extreme situations to illustrate this concept to children. For example, there's the example of Madam Lulu and the lions.

Are you saying that Lulu/Olivia deserved to be devoured by hungry lions?

No. But when the Baudelaires confide in Olivia and Olivia confides in the Baudelaires, she reveals to them that she merely tries to help as many people as she can. However, because she doesn't discriminate on the basis of morality, she often ends up helping people to carry out wicked ends. She also tells the Baudelaires that the lions had previously been noble animals, trained to sniff out smoke. But in their current emaciated state, the lions have become purposeless, driven solely by their appetites. Olivia is in a similar situation. Olivia was a member of V.F.D. an organization that most of the adults in the series seem to have been affiliated with in some capacity, and seems to feel that their goals were noble.

Can we stop pretending that you don't remember that V.F.D. stands for Volu—

No we cannot. Look, the point is that Olivia used to actively try to do good, but without that sense of purpose now settles for giving people what they want. Which is good for the Baudelaires because it means she's willing to help them, but then again, it also means that she's also willing to betray them to Olaf. However, the novel is making the — perhaps obvious — point that inflexible adherence to a motto, like "Give people what they want." is a poor way to live your life. Olivia is also shown to be a hypocrite because she clearly does choose sides when determining who should get what they want. After all, Hugo, Colette, and Kevin want acceptance and to be paid for their work and Lulu doesn't accommodate them.

Fair enough. Do you want to talk about the significance of the freaks?

Well, it is the subject of this volume's Gothic Archies song, so sure.  Let's talk about Hugo, Colette, and Kevin. Throughout the book it's made pretty clear that Snicket has a low opinion of treating human beings as spectacle. The lesson for the kids is obvious, no one deserves to be made a mockery of just because they are different. This has been something of a running theme in the books as well, with the Baudelaires being ostracized for being orphans in The Austere Academy. The theme is also reinforced by the fact that the freaks aren't much more unusual than Olaf and his accomplices. Something pointed out in the text.

What about the fact that they jump at the chance to join up with Olaf  and murder Lulu?

Are you suggesting that the novel is suggesting that people who deviate from the norm are more likely to be immoral.

Not necessarily, but when all of Olaf's associates are identified by the ways in which they are different and three characters explicitly called freaks by other characters prove to be disloyal, it might send a bad message.

Well, I see your point. And Hugo, Colette, and Kevin's argument for joining Olaf seems to be, "Society has always rejected us, and Esmé is offering us a chance to be treated normally, so who cares about morality?" But remember, the offer isn't so much, "Join us and we'll treat you with dignity," as it is, "Look, you can either murder your boss or take the chance that you will be murdered. In exchange we will help you pass as normal people."

That's pretty coercive.

It is. It doesn't absolve them of their guilt in cutting the Baudelaires loose from Olaf's car at the end of the book. I do actually think that this is a weak point in characterization. While I do buy that they'd be willing to join someone who seems to be offering them a chance at acceptance, I think maybe this is one of those situations where Snicket decided that the Baudelaires situation had to be as desperate as possible, so any possible allies need to betray them or stand by and do nothing.

Any other criticisms while we're at it?

Of course. So, in this book, I started to get a little annoyed at some of Snicket's tics. First I'll mention that I quite liked the bit where chapter five starts off with a pargraph about the definition of "déjà vu" only for you to turn the page and find the same "Chapter Five" legend and illustration on the next page, and a very similar explanation of "déjà vu." That was funny. But Snicket's numerous other digressions about the phrase "in the belly of the beast", its figurative and literal uses, and how many times it would appear in the book, and whether an instance of the phrase actually counted towards the total, began to feel labored and part of an effort to pad out the length of the book. Which is unnecessary, given that the books have been getting longer ever since the series began. And I know that this might seem a silly criticism given that part of the point is to parody the didacticism of children's literature, but it is getting to be a bit much.

It seems odd to say this after you described the previous book as a series high point.

It feels odd, too, but this book just wasn't quite as compelling as the previous entry.  Anyway, I think that about wraps this one up. Be sure to stop by next month to read about The Slippery Slope.

Links:

Here's the Gothic Archies song from this book's audio book: "Freakshow." It's pretty catchy and actually has a happy ending.